5.23.2005

[flaky girl's diary]
Best Friend

It's weird.

Somehow things stays the same and yet they seem very different.

Have I changed? Or has the world changed? That is a question I don't have an answer for.

The phone rang. It was her again. She blabbed on and on and my mind just wasn't there. She might be wondering if I really cared, or she might be the same oblivious person as she has always been. In some way that's good, she might be thinking that I'm still her friend. But in my head I'm screaming: "I don't want to be your friend. You and your nonstop complaining about your other love life." Non of that came out of my mouth of course. This is BAD.

I do wonder why I keep on pretending to be the "best friend" she's ever had? I don't want to break her heart? Or maybe I am simply weak. I guess it's more of the later.

"How about you listen to my problems for once, for a change?" I almost said that. But I hesitated. It just doesn't feel right. I don't have much to complain and that's just not the kind of friend I am.

But here I am blabbing on and on to myself, in the middle of the night, just because I answered the god damn phone.

And the saddest part of it all... is that I know... I'll keep answering the phone.

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